TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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