Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm too high and old for this...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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