Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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