As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
