Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
