I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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