Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
