Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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