does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
