I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
