Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
