lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
high people should be assigned attendants
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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