someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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