Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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