no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
