no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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