I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
