The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
