My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize