Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize