We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
