shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
