Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
