Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
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