Don't you send me to vm
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Someone shattered a urinal.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
