Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
