Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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