he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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