I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
me + whiskey = a bad person
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
