Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize