Me too!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she peed on how many people?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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