We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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