So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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