What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
