he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I touched a dick in church today
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize