PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
