yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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