Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
