you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
