Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
