So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
