just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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