She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
pop tarts are not kleenex
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
