$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
