I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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