We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
