had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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