That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
