Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
