Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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