She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
