omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
