well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
