dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
