Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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