they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
