Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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