I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
