I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We talked him into tasing himself.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize