She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
