just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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